‘It is when I seem to be doing the least that I am doing the most.    

  Leonardo de Vinci   

As you may have noticed, my writer self has not been visible on this  page lately. Since the beginning of 2010, I have been in a place of deep introspection, contemplative listening: more being than doing, the nourishing nurturing space so vital to the  core of my ‘ I AM~ness’. Scanning my favourite art book, I was encouraged recently as I reread Jeanne Carbonetti’s insightful description of her process that so closely mirrors mine.  

“…the world goes into soft focus…when I am in the waiting cycle…paying attention to the slightest stirrings that guide me to the next step….the being in the world, but not of the world…. Had I been busily engaged in something productive, I may have missed those stirrings.”

And so it is and was for me, when the art above began to call forth, beckon,  flow on to the page guiding me from within to paint it into life.  I stared fascinated, bemused by the pattern splay; the moving into intention phase, bringing  essence into clear focus.

The following dialogue began running through my awareness ~ I burst out laughing,  tears running down my cheeks and I had to stop the paint flow and capture the wordage flow on paper. 

“I am Brigid. Brigid the goddess of Inspiration”, she began.  Ummmmm… Okay, I thought: I had placed that card on my desk top recently for several months. Good, inspiration was stirring within.

AND THEN THE YAMMERING BEGAN

~I soon began to think of her as ‘Sassy Assy’ rather than Goddess Brigid, as you may immanently understand~ 

(~~ at sentence beginning will indicate Brigid’s words )

Hey come on You, it’s time to stop this now!
~~Huh~ I ain’t’ stopping

I mean you gotta quit spreading your fire wings…its getting ridiculous…you’re almost off the page
~~So what’s the problem…who’s to say…

Well, I am. You’re going into an art show, and so you will be viewed as a work of art and you should be …
~~Should be what!  I’m a work for anyone to judge!!!  No way!
Who are you?  What’s up….you’ve waited all these years to come to  this moment and you are telling me not to spread my wings, not to take up all the space that surrounds me…

Well no, I guess…
~~Whadda you mean…you guess…. I don’t believe you!  What happened to you!!

Well we kinda created this YOU… together right?
~~Right… soooooooo

Well I only knew I was birthing something, ‘cause I felt so crappy for so long~ and then I sensed how close I was to this change within and … and I  already knew what I was submitting to the International Women’s Day Art show!   It was a done deal and…
~~And what !!!!  I hadn’t appeared yet! ….so NO deal~!!

Well ummmmm…in my cauldron of mulling and fogginess of becoming ness ummm…ahhhh I just thought I’d play with paint…that creativity always feels good in the midst of my inner turmoil and then…
~~YAH and then….I SURPRISED YOU DIDN’T I~!!!!

Yah you did~ painted~ let it dry~came down the next day~and there you are staring at me~ Up heaving all my plans…

~~Hey you…Linda! …it’s like this…

~~if you are open to divine will, you are on the path of conscious living, willing to transform within and without…haha ~ what a word….within and out wardly….And then I am willing to allow you to paint me onto the page to show you what you are birthing i.e.  Your INNER PHOENIX!!!!!  What’s your problem with what I LOOK LIKE…~~!!!!!!

You’re gonna go through all this and then Give a Damn about what other people think about how I look!!!!!   Seeding, gestating labouring and emerging IS MESSY work alright~~! There ain’t any other way…

~~And now that I am here, Lady….you bet I’m gonna spread my wings any which way I CHOOSE.

LOOK OUT WORLD HERE WE COME~!

 Oh my jumping heavenly hosts, I silently mumbled, remembering the truth of the saying:

 Be Careful What You Pray For~~

Un~Masking The Mask

Masks or the art of mask making had never called to me~

From my experience they had signified a sense of hiding, deceit, an attempt at confusion.
~the Masked Man
~Mask of Zorro
~Master of the Masque

None of these concepts appealed to me as I had spent my life attempting to see through, see behind the invisible to the eye masks, worn by people everyday. I understand now that I had been longing to see truly, soul to soul with another; not something society in general longs for in most areas of the ‘civilized’ world.

Why would one be drawn to masking I often queried ~ I later learned that therapeutically  people may feel safer when ‘masked’ to explore, to bring into awareness, to show to the world more of their inner self, both the light and the darker aspects of their deeper nature. And of course for many they may be fun.

Still this didn’t call to me.  Curious, I went to Wikipedia:

A mask is an article normally worn on the face, typically for protection, concealment, performance, or amusement. Masks have been used since antiquity for both ceremonial and practical purposes. They are usually worn on the face, although they may also be positioned for effect elsewhere on the wearer’s body, so in parts of Australia giant totem masks cover the body, whilst Inuit women use finger masks during storytelling and dancing.

Then one Saturday morning, having completed  2 weeks in the Expressive Arts Therapy course I walked into the soothing quiet of the light filled studio at the Haliburton School of the Arts. My classmate friends and teachers were gone and the familiar creative haven of ‘becomingness’ beckoned me forth. 

Materials for sculpting, painting, beading, wire work, moulding, mixed media, mobiles, sound making all lay before me in a wondrous pattern of possibilities.

I had come to paint.

Intuitive art was my ‘thing’~ my returned passion, my source form of expression.

I had come to paint.

Perusing the artistic array with assured gait, I walked over and chose beads, feathers, paints, brushes, a form, other additives and moved to my workspace. 

Shortly thereafter, all the while working and listening deeply within, I stared down as

my SPIRITUAL WARRIOR gazed up at me.

I had made a MASK~!

It was then I understood. I had spent my life imploring, questing, calling out for answers, the energy, the grace to UNMASK myself, layer after layer after layer~ 

I had had no desire to add yet another MASK of any kind ~

In yet,  from the depths of my inner knowing my SoulPower Mask emerged before me.

‘Linda, I AM your truth.
I have been waiting all your life for you to come home.
I am your integrated, aligned essence: Now, let the gift of your truth shine, so that it may invite others to do the same.

A few months later, a new restlessness began to stir within me. I had to find a certain piece of prose kept for years. Lying in my filing cabinet, I finally uncovered the writing below.

Its message had been subconsciously guiding me, calling me back home to my authentic self, all along.

DAILY AFFIRMATION FOR YOUR PATH OF EMPOWERMENT

I am a new warrior of spirit
I exist in a world of sacred balance
I balance with one foot in the physical world of material substance
And one foot in the dimensions of spirit and sacred life
My course is set by my ally~ the winds of time.

Mother Earth gives me life force~
The life blood of my sacred body
The plants give me nourishment and healing
As I ride the wind horse of my intent
My sacred warrior’s transport of buoyant joy~
Into a new and unknown world of harmony

I am truly a new warrior
An androgynous spirit being of light
My weapons are the shield of awareness
The symbols of ancient truth and the sacred giveaway
Like the angels that surround me
Few see me for who I really am

I do commerce in the world
I raise my family. I live a life dedicated to freedom
I immerse myself in the physical world
So that one day I can give it up
Because I can give up only something that I truly have

People learn from me through example
Because of the integrity of my own life and spirit
I move into the world with confidence and wisdom
I am always open and learning tools of knowledge
And I share these tools with my sisters and my brothers

I am a warrior of the light
And I live the integrity of that truth with great care
From a center within myself that is pure goodness~
The embodiment of the peaceful soul

I walk with confidence
The path of heart and personal power~

Anonymous

What mask might be loosening for you?

If you lifted this mask off how would your world change ?

How would revealing more of your true self gift our world?

Blessings and gentle strength to you~

Linda

The First Step Is The Most Challenging~

And The One That Brings New Life~

To Risk~

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental
To reach for another is to risk involvement
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self

To place our ideas our dreams before the crowd
Is to risk their loss
To love is to risk not being loved in return
To live is to risk dying
To try is to risk failure

But risk must be taken
Because the greatest hazard in life
Is to risk nothing, do nothing, and be nothing

One may avoid suffering and sorrow
But one simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love or live
Chained by certitude, one is a slave
Has forfeited freedom

Only a person who risks is free

Anonymous

Forces will have been set in motion beyond the reckoning of the senses. Sequences of events from the corners of the world will draw gradually together, and miracles and coincidence will bring the inevitable to pass… Joseph Campbell

SOOTHING SOUND AND BEAUTY OF WATERFALLS

Astrologers call this eclipse, ‘Penumbral’: one more subtle in its effects. Whatever its nomenclature, its import if we choose, may hold electric magical energy for us. Eclipses are wake up calls from the Cosmos, to shift the direction of our lives. It has never been a more opportune time to co-create with the heavenly forces.

 Dare to risk. To take time to reflect, assess and to let go of all that does not serve you and who you are becoming.  Indulge yourself in:

OPEN  HEARTED PLEASURES  

Belly laughs

Heart talk

Fresh air laundry

Warm flannel sheets

Brewing morning coffee

Teddy bear hugs

Butterfly kisses

Early morning mists

Spilling over giggles

Baby snuggles

Wave watching

Loon calls

Star gazing

Soul sighs

Gentle

Love

on

and

on

Dare to be Self Loving, owning what is true for you.

Dare to set yourself free….

ready~~~~ 

   JUMP~

 Many blessings for an adventuresome landing~  Linda

Know Thyself, Saith The Oracle 

Of Delphi

Today June 21, 2009, is the Summer Solstice, the longest day of the year; the largest amount of light, solar rays, available to us in the Northern hemisphere. Throughout the ages, people have celebrated this day in reverence, joy, anticipation, according to varied cultural traditions. 

The symbolic essence of the Solstice invites one to look toward the play of inner light and darkness.  It is said that at this time metaphysically, the veil between the worlds is thinner, more easily allowing the richness of self awareness and self discovery. 

Facilitating a workshop yesterday on varied aspects of ‘Soul Talk’ a participant, who knows me well, said: “You are all about self awareness, aren’t you.”

I heard this comment in a new way and easily responded, and now enlarge on my truth, by expressing it thusly: “Yes, since it is my journey, my responsibility, my soul call to deeply know and love me, I am all about self awareness. It is vital to me to honour and get to know all parts of me, since I have been created divinely, as we all have been. This is my soul growth path, my spirit leading me back to my authentic, Higher Self. The more I know, the more I know I have yet to know. And then the more I have to let go… (however I digress~!) 

I do know that I can only change myself and through this process my heart opens to more clearly connect to my Self,  Source and Others and my life shifts, amazingly.

Solstice is a powerful time for seeding new awareness’s, intentions, paradigms: preparing for new growth and a new harvest, both within oneself, and in ones everyday life. 

I offer prose today, from a mentor I have never met in person, who had a profound affect on my life years ago. Her name was Virginia Satir, a family therapist a forerunner in family therapy. I immediately resonated with her book PeopleMaking, and its wisdom helped me through a challenging dissolution and loss in my life.

MY DECLARATION OF SELF-ESTEEM
            
                                                         I AM ME

In all the world there is no one else exactly like me
There are persons who have some parts like me, but no one adds up
Exactly like me. Therefore, everything that comes out of me
Is authentically mine, because I alone choose it
I own everything about me:  my body, including everything it does
My eyes, including the images of all they behold
I own my feelings: anger, joy, frustration, love, disappointment, excitement
My mouth and all the words that come out of it
Polite, sweet or rough, correct or incorrect and my voice, loud or soft
I own all my actions, whether they be to others or to myself
I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears
I own all my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes
Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me
By so doing, I can love me and be friendly with me in all my parts
I can then make it possible for all of me to work in my best interests
I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me
And other aspects that I do not know
But as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously
And hopefully look for the solutions to the puzzles
And for ways to find out more about me
However I look and sound, whatever I say and do
And whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is me
This is authentic and represents where I am at that moment in time
When I review later how I looked and sounded, what I said and did
How I thought and felt, some parts may turn out to be unfitting
I can discard that which is unfitting,
Keep that which proves fitting and invent something new for that which I discarded
I can see, hear, feel, think, say and do
I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive
To make sense out of the world of people and things outside of me
I own me and therefore, I can engineer me

I AM ME AND I AM OKAY

VIRGINIA SATIR c 1975

What a wonderful day to celebrate the beauty of who you are…

 And all that you are becoming~

Solstice Blessings to you~