Mom! Are There Two Gods In Church Today~
Precious Gifts From Our Children
Long ago and just the other day it seems, I was blessed to give birth to my beautiful daughter Holli, a gem who gratefully chose me as her mom. From this wee being wisdom flowed freely. Holli would give voice to things others would never notice, or at least never dare to express. I loved and still love her ‘eyes wide open’ perspective on life.
When the children were young, I would take them all to our historical village church and we would settle into the hard, old wooden pews. Holli, as a baby would be snuggled facing me, with her next older sister sitting facing forward, back to back with her. On each side of us sat her oldest sister and her brother. As church service would pass, the children would play with my rings, hand and foot games or draw on paper produced from my purse.
This particular Sunday Holli, who was four years old, wore her best dress with white leotards and black patent shoes. Over top, she wore her silver faux fur coat buttoned up the front. Enhancing her attire was her radiant smile, huge blue, see into your soul eyes and her mass of curly blonde hair pulled up into a knot on top of her head. A charmer she was, absolutely.
We were pleased to see Reverend Sam Obal from Kenya was at our parish that day, assisting Reverend Tonks with communion.
Open hearted, the light of God shone from Sam’s face.
Holli seemed a bit restless during the service and was quietly walking the 3 feet of empty pew space beside us, all the while intently watching both Sam and Basil in their long white vestments. Finally she settled into the high backed corner of the pew, standing with her elbow resting on the aisle edge, where she had a splendid view of the proceedings.
It would be important for the reader to know that this particular church was still attended by the direct ancestors of the original settlers, who had built the architecturally beautiful structure in the early 1800’s. Newcomers would soon learn to be certain that they sat in any place other than the particular pews invisibly labelled: ‘for direct descendants only’.
And then it happened. Holli clearly and loudly interjected her question.
“Mom, are there two Gods in Church today?”
“Holli”, I whispered, I’ll tell you later.” Snickers. You could feel the distracted rustling finally ebbing, as the church settled once more. Long pause. More observation. More consternation. I could sense her still pondering since Holli and I had always been so closely connected, even before her birth.
“Please dear God, help her wait this one out”, I silently prayed.
“Well”, she finally proclaimed loudly to all: “If they aren’t two Gods, are they two ANGELS?” That did it. The whole congregation bubbled with rolling laughter.
And yet the story is not complete. When it came time for communion, Rev. Sam reached down and picked up Holli. The contrasting image of this 7 foot tall black man holding tiny blonde Holli in his hands, so that they were smiling face to face, is one I treasure, always.As it is written, like Mary in times of old, these things I keep deep in my heart.
May we be thankful for the clear seeing, free flowing thoughts and queries of children. For the insight, candidness and laughter they bring to our days.
May we remember the innocence of the child in us who longs to be free to ponder, to voice aloud unedited the deep wonderings of our heart.
What might you try today in spontaneity just because you have always wanted to? I invite you to take a risk. Trust in yourself.
Go For It Now~~~~
Believing in the wisdom of YOU ….blessings Linda
Believing Ones Way Beyond The Fear
I Pulled my Courage up from the Depths of Somewhere…
There are times in life, when suddenly the path ahead is obscured beyond any human understanding. The challenge looming menacingly ahead, may feel like a roaring avalanche about to engulf, when one hadn’t even been aware that they had stepped onto the mountain. Choosing to trust this mysterious force is not a journey for the faint of heart. It is however, the pathway to miracles and breathing space.
The En Visioning Call of My Soul…
Having completed my Bachelor of Arts degree in psychology, I then was offered a place in the Faculty of Education to complete my teaching degree. Being in fear through most of my teens, feeling little personal power and lack of support, even censure when I had attempted to embrace life in new ways, I had not ventured into the world to follow my heart’s desire after high school. I truly began to embrace the inner challenge of the ongoing ‘lesson’ of reclaiming my authenticity throughout my marriage. At the earth age of ‘30′ mother of 4 children, sitting in the golden ( really!) chair I will always remember, I clearly heard my Higher Self say to me:
“Linda, you CAN become a teacher!”
Stunned, I began to breathe in the possiblity of reclaiming the dream I had secretly carried, since I was a tiny child. The rest of this is a story for another day……
Now Life was calling me again and and just as imperatively. This time the reverberations awakened my saddened soul and I knew that the only choice for me was to accept the honour of being offered a place at the Faculty, although having no idea ‘how’ any of this could be possible. I had just become the single parent of four children with an already large student loan, part time work as a grocery clerk left me with no idea “How” I was to pay the bills each month. Then I suddenly learned that the children and I were now living in a home that going up for sale, imminently In Yet……
Beckoned from within, in both great fear and mumbling prayer, I blindly began to trust the vision I had seen years earlier. Although I truly felt I was in a check mate position I pulled my courage up from the depth of somewhere I knew not, since this route seemed the only way I would be able to secure a teaching position to be able to care for my family.
I had forgotten that my soul knew the golden path before me.
Arising in the dark each morning, four hours before class was to begin in the city, I would travel, study and return home in the evening. When people asked me how I did this, my reply was always: “Please don’t ask me right now.” It seemed that if I spoke, my suppressed pain and exhaustion would engulf me; I needed every bit of my energy focused on the task ahead. I carried the poem Footprints folded in my wallet and simply kept keeping on.
The inevitable day came when I looked in the refrigerator and there was almost nothing eat. My insides began to cave. Shaking and silently praying, I heard my oldest daughter say: “Its okay mom, it’s been worse”.
I blessed her for her faith. There comes a level of fear that is completely numbing and perhaps this is the gift that allows one to continue moving forward into the unknown when trust is still a fledging. Arising at 5:00 a. m. the next morning, I once again headed to the university, fear pulsing the beat of my heart.
Later that day, researching in the library, the librarian noticed I was strained. I mentioned my situation and that this time I simply didn’t know how I could continue and I had no answers in my awareness, anymore. She smiled and me took down the hall, indicating the Awards Office. Go in there now, she lovingly told me and gently nudged me forward.
On automatic pilot, I entered and began to speak, tears falling as my words dripped out. I will never forget the woman who questioned and listened that day. She gently told me to take the form, to fill it in immediately and return it right away.
Then, because I had ‘believed’ my way beyond my fear and had shared with another ~ since a Miracle is simply a Change in Perception, the key to opening to a miracle began to unfold.
Having reached beyond my old belief system of “ You Have to Do it all Yourself” , three days later I had enough money for food as she handed me the cheque and my eyes once again filled with tears. She soothed my aching soul by acknowledging: “You really need this, don’t you.”
To my surprise, she also passed me another application form, repeating the instructions to complete it immediately. This went on for three months, allowing me to feed my children, to complete my year and graduate with my Bachelor of Education.
I never knew the woman’s name, but to me she was my Angel. This possibly humiliating situation brought healing and hope to me and my family, through her heart felt compassion. Allowing me to keep my dignity, she saw with eyes of love. I truly know that she was one of ways in which Divine Love carried me through that year.
Graduating with honours was merely a bonus. How the rest of the technicalities worked out, I really don’t remember. I do know for sure, however that there truly are angels on earth.
I know she was one of the many Human Angels who believed in me and carried me through that year.
Dear God/dess, thank you for every day miracles. May we remember that when we forget and tremble in fear, You have infinite resources beyond all measures. Thank you for the still small voice within that guides and supports us, through what may seem the most dire of circumstances. For this most precious gift we offer our heartfelt and humble thanks.
Might you be ready to shift one perception; to invite a miracle into your life?
And if so, which one do you choose to shift ?
Many blessings Linda
