While sitting

alone

in a world of people

I

realized

peace
love
joy

are within

one’s

self

or they are not there

at

all

These words flowed onto the page as a teen ~ still guiding me  today

I invite you to reflect, to consider what treasures within may call to you

Linda

‘It is when I seem to be doing the least that I am doing the most.    

  Leonardo de Vinci   

As you may have noticed, my writer self has not been visible on this  page lately. Since the beginning of 2010, I have been in a place of deep introspection, contemplative listening: more being than doing, the nourishing nurturing space so vital to the  core of my ‘ I AM~ness’. Scanning my favourite art book, I was encouraged recently as I reread Jeanne Carbonetti’s insightful description of her process that so closely mirrors mine.  

“…the world goes into soft focus…when I am in the waiting cycle…paying attention to the slightest stirrings that guide me to the next step….the being in the world, but not of the world…. Had I been busily engaged in something productive, I may have missed those stirrings.”

And so it is and was for me, when the art above began to call forth, beckon,  flow on to the page guiding me from within to paint it into life.  I stared fascinated, bemused by the pattern splay; the moving into intention phase, bringing  essence into clear focus.

The following dialogue began running through my awareness ~ I burst out laughing,  tears running down my cheeks and I had to stop the paint flow and capture the wordage flow on paper. 

“I am Brigid. Brigid the goddess of Inspiration”, she began.  Ummmmm… Okay, I thought: I had placed that card on my desk top recently for several months. Good, inspiration was stirring within.

AND THEN THE YAMMERING BEGAN

~I soon began to think of her as ‘Sassy Assy’ rather than Goddess Brigid, as you may immanently understand~ 

(~~ at sentence beginning will indicate Brigid’s words )

Hey come on You, it’s time to stop this now!
~~Huh~ I ain’t’ stopping

I mean you gotta quit spreading your fire wings…its getting ridiculous…you’re almost off the page
~~So what’s the problem…who’s to say…

Well, I am. You’re going into an art show, and so you will be viewed as a work of art and you should be …
~~Should be what!  I’m a work for anyone to judge!!!  No way!
Who are you?  What’s up….you’ve waited all these years to come to  this moment and you are telling me not to spread my wings, not to take up all the space that surrounds me…

Well no, I guess…
~~Whadda you mean…you guess…. I don’t believe you!  What happened to you!!

Well we kinda created this YOU… together right?
~~Right… soooooooo

Well I only knew I was birthing something, ‘cause I felt so crappy for so long~ and then I sensed how close I was to this change within and … and I  already knew what I was submitting to the International Women’s Day Art show!   It was a done deal and…
~~And what !!!!  I hadn’t appeared yet! ….so NO deal~!!

Well ummmmm…in my cauldron of mulling and fogginess of becoming ness ummm…ahhhh I just thought I’d play with paint…that creativity always feels good in the midst of my inner turmoil and then…
~~YAH and then….I SURPRISED YOU DIDN’T I~!!!!

Yah you did~ painted~ let it dry~came down the next day~and there you are staring at me~ Up heaving all my plans…

~~Hey you…Linda! …it’s like this…

~~if you are open to divine will, you are on the path of conscious living, willing to transform within and without…haha ~ what a word….within and out wardly….And then I am willing to allow you to paint me onto the page to show you what you are birthing i.e.  Your INNER PHOENIX!!!!!  What’s your problem with what I LOOK LIKE…~~!!!!!!

You’re gonna go through all this and then Give a Damn about what other people think about how I look!!!!!   Seeding, gestating labouring and emerging IS MESSY work alright~~! There ain’t any other way…

~~And now that I am here, Lady….you bet I’m gonna spread my wings any which way I CHOOSE.

LOOK OUT WORLD HERE WE COME~!

 Oh my jumping heavenly hosts, I silently mumbled, remembering the truth of the saying:

 Be Careful What You Pray For~~

 

“Weird has   a problem   ervyone  thought  he   was Weird,   becau    his Name  was   Weird.
The nxst   day    his Name  was   Prtty     eryone   love    him.”

As one may see, I have kept this art for many years close to my heart ~ faded only in colour, never in import. My daughter created this wisdom piece when barely 5 years old. I have treasured it always and only now have I been drawn to bring my deep connection to this masterpiece of insight into words.

According to the Dictionary, one may find the following origin and definitions of ‘weird’

Adjective:
• Involving or suggesting the supernatural (beyond the natural)
• Fantastic or bizarre
• Archaic, concerned with or controlling fate or destiny

A few who have had, or presently live these attributes, often called heretics may include: Christopher Columbus, Joan of Arc, Einstein, Amelia Earhart, Beethoven, Florence Nightingale, Gandhi, Stephen Spielberg, Martin Luther and Coretta King, Stephen Hawking and the Dali Lama.

I clearly remember when I first heard some people scoffing Oprah as ‘weird’ for believing she could branch out into the magazine and television arena. All pioneers, geniuses, visionaries may be considered ‘weird’ whenever they venture into questioning or challenge existing concepts of the time. Moving beyond the known into new possibilities sets one up for labelling, fostered by fear.

Einstein addressed this fear head on, telling us that:

A problem can never be solved from the level at which it was created.          

He also stated that imagination is more important than knowledge: a statement that challenges much of our civilized fast forward nations of today.

Having the courage to live one’s differences to ‘risk being weird, may come with a high price tag.  Living this truth, one may be criticized, ridiculed, ostracized and even killed. I remember Sonia Choquette saying that like her, we must be ready to stand in the face of a thousand people telling us we are crazy for simply following our natural inner knowing, our intuition that guides us through life.

WEIRD, in the art above looks happy, excited, friendly, welcoming, gutsy and ready for any new adventure that may come his way. WEIRD looks like someone I would love to have as a friend. In many ways he looks like me and several of my closest friends.

I have not known the artist to make anything look ‘Prtty’ just to please others. Her strong sense of self from her earliest years seems to have inherently guided her forward and I highly respect that quality in her.

When she was young child, I remember often awakening to her before 6:00 a.m. questions: ‘Mom, I’ve walked the dog, had my breakfast and done my art?  What can I do now?’ She was always excited about life and the next thing she could learn or explore.

She first taught me about sending double body language messages when I was concerned for her safety as she headed out to the road; she just stood there at 4 years old and said to me:

‘Don’t talk mad at me with a smile on your face’.

The one, who when I brought the gerbil cage in for her Show and Tell, immediately took it to her legally blind classmate so he could first see up close, touch and talk to them. Then she passed it around to the rest of the class.

Both the dog house and her bedroom shelf, she constructed from her own inner schema at 7 years of age. She sat in the garage rafters of our new single parent home, politely saying to the neighbour who offered to help us hoist the heavy 2 x 10’s into storage: ‘No thank you, we can do it ourselves’, when he offered to help us. I quietly smiled, since I already knew how she would respond to his offer.

Deciding to construct a dinosaur for her Science project in grade one, I was enlisted for library research that very day. During the month it took to complete the project according to her own stipulations, advice from her dad and me was all she required.  The principal later explained that the judges did not award her first prize, since they couldn’t believe she had done such a complex assignment yourself.

This didn’t appear to concern you since you knew and I knew, and also the principal knew her level of excellence. Her belief in her abilities and certainty of outcomes aligned with what today, we term the ‘Law of Attraction’… much like another definition of the word Weird from the dictionary that both surprised and excited me.

Weird: before 900; (n.) ME (northern form of wird) OE wyrd; akin to WORTH; moving into the miraculous.

Akin in my mind, to the solid belief she held and holds in her ability to achieve her visions and goals to this day.

I was reminded of this assurance again the other day in the bookstore, seeing a tiny three year old walking down the aisle toward the children’s section; her mother following behind. At one point her mom instructed, let’s go this way now. She responded never looking back, never wavering from her goal:

‘No, mama, I’m going this way. I have my own mind you know’.

I smiled at her mom; she smiled in return continuing to follow her wee one. I, the quietly championing watcher seeing not just her, but both my daughters at that age, all the while thinking to myself:

YOU GO GIRL~! 

In the words of Astrologer Jonathan Cainer:

At school, they teach us all to read, to write, to add numbers together and to behave ourselves. They give no classes in how to develop intuition – build deeper, more meaningful relationships – or even how to relax and enjoy life without feeling constantly pressured. No wonder our world is in such a state. We are urged to value achievement more than empathy and money more than love.

Life authentically lived invites us to own the so called ‘weird’ to honour uniqueness in ourselves and in our children: we are meant to ‘have our own minds’ so that the ever expanding, evolving world of new possibilities may grace our lives.

How might life change if people were to influence fate and destiny by owning  their authentic worth?

If the chosen definition of ‘weird’  were to mean moving beyond the natural’ or known, what might be possible if we joined in this together?

In closing, I return to Einstein:

There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle or you can live as if everything is a miracle.

May your days be filled with peace and love, this holy season~    Linda

As a Guidance Counsellor who loved being with the students not so much the administrative tasks, as you may deduce from the sign above I posted on my office door, my awesome team mate ‘supervisor’ Jean, smiled at me trustingly and obligingly said: ‘Great, you work with the students and develop the Grade 9 program for the school.’

That left me speechless since both she and I knew I was great at process work in the moment; not great at writing down the ‘how’ of anything I did. Jean however was and is a very loving and wise woman: she asked another counsellor, my friend to sit at the back of the room and write down what she observed as I interacted with the students. Then together as a staff we co-created a wonderful program for the grade 9’s in that school.

This particular day, we were discussing self esteem, ‘full steam ahead’ ability. 

Listening to my intuition, I said to the class: “Let’s try something new.  I need 3 volunteers and I am going to say something positive, negative or neutral to you. The only thing is that you will not know which one it will be. I need you to respond to me in role play.”

A young girl put up her hand. In a loud condescending tone I scolded: “You haven’t cleaned up your room or done your home work! No you are not going out!”Immediately the student began to berate me, call me names and fall predictably into the angry teenager role.   I then stopped, thanked her and asked the class if they had ever seen this happen. All heads nodded in unison.

I asked for the next volunteer.  Another young girl put up her hand and I spoke: “Its great weather we have today.”  She agreed.

As I asked for the third volunteer, of course the whole class already knew what scenario was left.  A young boy bravely stood up.  I looked at him and in a warm caring voice said, “Do you ever have a nice smile”. 

Silence.  Profound nothingness. You could have heard a pin drop. Thirty two students ~ not a sound.

I looked around the room and said to the class, “What’s happening?”

After what seemed like a long time, someone said: “He doesn’t know what to say.  We don’t hear nice things like that.”

Three more times, 3 more classes, grade 9 through grade eleven; same results consistently. It was then, with a lump in my throat, that my soul knew the depth of this teaching and the dire need to offer this tool to others. I am saddened once again, just remembering the heart felt depth of this moment and the deep trust those students had in me to be able to ‘stay with me in this process….

From my journalling I wrote back then:
this is the work of my soul and I know it so is so simple but so vital to wellness…help me god to bring this to the world in your way…show me, guide me…..thank you for bringing into my life the support for me in this work, my dear friends, my soul friend co-workers and family members who support me in this manner……

As always, I am hearing Truth is so simple. Linda, go back to the simple.

In that moment I saw laid bare, the pain of the unacknowledged soul.  The tender hearts of our pain filled children: the same pain that had drowned my soul as a very young child and most likely the souls of my own children at times, before I became aware.  It is one of those moments when the precious gift of being a ‘teacher’ touched me to the core.

On the surface, how simple a compliment seems. Just an ordinary phrase.  No big deal.

Not so~ A compliment is an open hearted act of kindness. Seemingly small, a compliment has the love force of touching another and reverberating to the essence of who we are. Validating, healing, energizing…
 
So what was my lesson, the nugget of gold from this profound awareness?   I began to see clearly how easily many are conditioned to respond quickly in defensive anger, negativity, meanness and also how many are unable to receive the positive or the ‘good’. 

 
How long will we choose to resist the simple truth of caring and kindness?

 How can we begin to change this together?

 What simple compliment, act of kindness may you offer or accept today, toward becoming the change in this world we all share?

Precious Gifts From Our Children

Long ago and just the other day it seems, I was blessed to give birth to my beautiful daughter Holli, a gem who gratefully chose me as her mom.  From this wee being wisdom flowed freely.  Holli would give voice to things others would never notice, or at least never dare to express.     I loved and still love her ‘eyes wide open’ perspective on life.

When the children were young, I would take them all to our historical  village church and we would settle into the hard, old wooden pews. Holli, as a baby would be snuggled facing me, with her next older sister sitting facing forward, back to back with her.  On each side of us sat her oldest sister and her brother. As church service would pass, the children would play with my rings, hand and foot games or draw on paper produced from my purse. 

This particular Sunday Holli, who was four years old, wore her best dress with white leotards and black patent shoes. Over top, she wore her silver faux fur coat buttoned up the front.  Enhancing her attire was her radiant smile, huge blue, see into your soul eyes and her mass of curly blonde hair pulled up into a knot on top of her head. A charmer she was, absolutely.

We were pleased to see Reverend Sam Obal from Kenya was at our parish that day, assisting Reverend Tonks with communion.

Open hearted, the light of God shone from Sam’s face.

Holli seemed a bit restless during the service and was quietly walking the 3 feet of empty pew space beside us, all the while intently watching both Sam and Basil in their long white vestments. Finally she settled into the high backed corner of the pew, standing with her elbow resting on the aisle edge, where she had a splendid view of the proceedings.

It would be important for the reader to know that this particular church was still attended by the direct ancestors of the original  settlers, who had built the architecturally beautiful structure in the early 1800’s. Newcomers would soon learn to be certain that they sat in any place other than the particular pews invisibly labelled: ‘for direct descendants only’.

And then it happened.  Holli clearly and loudly interjected her question.
“Mom, are there two Gods in Church today?”

“Holli”, I whispered, I’ll tell you later.”  Snickers. You could feel the distracted rustling finally ebbing, as the church settled once more. Long pause. More observation.  More consternation.  I could sense her still pondering since Holli and I had always been so closely connected, even before her birth.

 “Please dear God, help her wait this one out”, I silently prayed.

“Well”, she finally proclaimed loudly to all: “If they aren’t two Gods, are they two ANGELS?”  That did it. The whole congregation bubbled with rolling laughter.

And yet the story is not complete.  When it came time for communion, Rev. Sam reached down and picked up Holli. The contrasting image of this 7 foot tall black man holding tiny blonde Holli in his hands, so that they were smiling face to face, is one I treasure, always.As it is written, like Mary in times of old, these things I keep deep in my heart.

May we be thankful for the clear seeing, free flowing thoughts and queries of children. For the insight, candidness and laughter they bring to our days.

May we remember the innocence of the child in us who longs to be free to ponder, to voice aloud unedited the deep wonderings of our heart. 

What might you try today in spontaneity  just  because  you have always wanted to? I invite you to take a risk. Trust in yourself.

Go For It Now~~~~

 

Believing in the wisdom of YOU ….blessings Linda