The First Step Is The Most Challenging~

And The One That Brings New Life~

To Risk~

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental
To reach for another is to risk involvement
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self

To place our ideas our dreams before the crowd
Is to risk their loss
To love is to risk not being loved in return
To live is to risk dying
To try is to risk failure

But risk must be taken
Because the greatest hazard in life
Is to risk nothing, do nothing, and be nothing

One may avoid suffering and sorrow
But one simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love or live
Chained by certitude, one is a slave
Has forfeited freedom

Only a person who risks is free

Anonymous

 I remember at a very young age pursing my mouth shut, hiding my heart.

I also remember 14 years ago, receiving an inspiring book from Holli, ILLUMINATA, by Marianne Williamson. I see myself high-lighting as if it was yesterday: ‘The history of the world is the history of control ~ by institutions, individuals and ideas…..seizing someone’s soul is the ultimate form of control because without our soul we are without love.’

At the everyday level control is the insidiously lethal process of slow death of the spirit…totally legal ~ Hidden rules blaringly written in invisible ink in many houses, businesses, churches, governments throughout the world. Secrecies, veiled threats: Children should be seen and not heard. Boys don’t cry. If you want your diploma, job, position, this is how it will be. THEY are our enemy. WHO do you think you are!   Shackling of the spirit, hanging the head, hunkering inward, squelching the voice, hide, hide hide ~

Like the invisible man in the movie Chicago singing: “I’m just invisible me.”
Riveted my attention searing deeper to levels of ‘my own hiding’ still silently lurking within me. And I remember the people who ‘saw’ me, even in my hiding and who gently and surely loved me, as I loved myself back to who I am today.

For Love Is Always The Key. 

Now is the time to look to our inner wisdom, to love and to be loved back to our authentic selves. Now is the time to heave off our hiding cloaks, return to the truth of who we are divinely created to be. 

Our worst fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us most.
We ask ourselves: ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and famous?’
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won’t feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us; it’s in all of us.
When we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

 RETURN TO LOVE: Marianne Williamson, 1992.  

THANK YOU MARIANNE~

Today, I see even more clearly the imprinting of others courage to speak up  steadily guiding my soul, encouraging me to come out of hiding; to take the leap in sharing my writing, photography, art and to begin inviting others to offer their Soul Prints of change, also.

Come join me in envisioning our new reality~ a wellspring of loving light and creativity, flowing out into our world ~

My Journal: the ‘raw unplugged’ … Lakeshore ~ AUG. 26th/09

“If the wind could blow my troubles away
Blow my troubles away…..”

I remember walking another beach years ago pleading, shouting these words into the raging storm flinging my arms skyward in supplication ~

Today – just whacked, wiped, trusting, living in the now ~ affirming ~moment by moment,
Knowing, conscious of, not in denial of all the lessons, challenges that are moving me forward to
creating the new      all of which I can alllllmossstttt ~~~~see~~~ on the horizon.

So, I am sitting at a picnic table~
First time hungry today ~ having eaten a Tim’s bagel, broccoli soup ~ watching the wind surfers.
Am feeling stronger more connected to the world around me and am now mostly my calm observer self again.                And knowing, I cannot STOP LETTING GO~ ……..letting go of stuff, things, relationships that no longer flow anymore, taking to goodwill store, garage sale-ing, gifting, recycling, repairing, restoring, refurbishing, passing it forward, giving, giving, giving, letttttting goooooooo~

Computer clearing, deleting, reorganizing, recreating, sorting, simplifying    on and on and on ~                          Cleaning, organizing cupboards, closets, drawers, cubbies, making space for the new~
                                   ~energy, ideas, people, love, gifts, abundance and prosperity in my mind, heart and  soul, home, work, relationships

I’m the CEO of LETTING GO!  Renewing, re-membering, transforming my life.

Letting go of residuals of hurt, sadness, fear, resistance, grudges, denial, confusion, disorganization,
I cant’s, don’ wannas, won’t works, of competition, of ‘better than me’s ~

The list of FEARS ~~~~ False Evidence Appearing as Real is endless~~~

Could build the Great wall of China, block by block if one chose to pile up the blocks of fear inculcated within us  by all that surrounds in this world……So many blocks, damn blocks~ invisible~

Invisible ghosts in the mind ~ so powerful~ overpowering~
when we ‘BELIEVE’ THEY ARENT’ THERE…they hold even more of our POWER.

GHOSTBUSTERS~ name of the movie~
Ironically most descriptively powerful when it’s MINDBUSTING that is needed.  
 

I AM THE CEO OF LETTING GO~ Flinging myself into the void of all possibilities….

END OF JOURNAL ENTRY…..

And then the windsurfer walks up to me and begins to tell me his story. “My wife and I came from Newfoundland 20 years ago for job interviews; I am a sail maker.    

 (I smile  as I hear my spirit laughing…..I always know when I am in for another butt kicking into the next shift….all from good intentions, of course~! )

“I had an interview in another city and then came here. The interview went well and then my wife and I went to explore the city. We found this windy bay, full of sailboats and windsurfers and decided this was where we were meant to be.  It has never been that windy since!  But we have been happy here, taking weeks or months off to windsurf at the best surfing places on the continent when the work is slower. Now we have bought property in a beautiful place up north, by the Great Lakes and  building our home on the water.   Amazing isn’t it how spirit gets us to where we are to be, I grin and he and his wife laugh with me.

“Then I say to him: It must take a lot of strength to wind surf.

“No he responded. Actually see that young woman over there in the striped top, the one who looks like the wind will blow her over. She is one of the best surfers in the club. She knows how to sense the wind, to bend and move with the waves the motion of the bay.

She moves so beautifully across the water, with no effort.

By now, I am grinning, sassing spirit, inwardly saying…. OKAY ALREADY… You know I ‘know’ this lesson, but obviously you’re taking me through a refresher course.

I AM TO BE LIKE A WINDSURFER~ letting go of  ’being strong, TRYING to make it work ~ I am to return to trusting, sensing, moving, flowing, riding the waves of life…..letting go, letting go with arms flung to the sky again,

welcoming the NEW, for the joy of the ride and highest call of my soul.

What might shift, arrive for you, if you should choose to let go~ perhaps of just one thing: the one right there ~ in your awareness?

 How might that change your life?

Come  join me, surfing along the waters of  life~!

There are times in life, when suddenly the path ahead is obscured beyond any human understanding. The challenge looming menacingly ahead, may feel like a roaring avalanche about to engulf, when one hadn’t even been aware that they had stepped onto the mountain. Choosing to trust this mysterious force is not a journey for the faint of heart.  It is however, the pathway to miracles and breathing space.

 The En Visioning Call of My Soul…

Having completed my Bachelor of Arts degree in psychology, I then was offered a place in the Faculty of Education to complete my teaching degree. Being in fear through most of my teens, feeling little personal power and lack of support, even censure when I had attempted to embrace life in new ways, I had not ventured into the world to follow my heart’s desire after high school. I truly began to embrace the inner challenge of the ongoing ‘lesson’ of reclaiming my authenticity throughout my marriage. Then one day, sitting in the golden ( really!) lazy boy chair I will always remember, I clearly heard my Higher Self say to me:

“Linda, you CAN become a teacher!”

Stunned, I began to breathe in the possiblity of reclaiming the dream I had secretly carried, since I was a tiny child. The rest of this is a story for another day……

Now Life was calling me again and and just as imperatively.  This time the reverberations awakened my saddened soul and I knew that the only choice for me was to accept the honour of being offered a place at the Faculty, although having no idea ‘how’ any of this could be possible. I had just become the single parent of  four children with an already large student loan, part time work as a  grocery clerk left me with no idea “How” I was to pay the bills each month. Then I suddenly learned that the children and I were now living in a home that going up for sale, imminently   In Yet……

Beckoned from within, in both great fear and mumbling prayer, I blindly began to trust the vision I had seen years earlier. Although I truly felt I was in a check mate position I pulled my courage up from the depth of somewhere I knew not, since this route seemed the only way I would be able to secure a teaching position to be able to care for my family.

  I had forgotten that my soul knew the golden path before me.

Arising in the dark each morning, four hours before class was to begin in the city, I would travel, study and return home in the evening. When people asked me how I did this, my reply was always: “Please don’t ask me right now.” It seemed that if I spoke, my suppressed pain and exhaustion would engulf me; I needed every bit of my energy focused on the task ahead. I carried the poem Footprints folded in my wallet and simply kept keeping on.

The inevitable day came when I looked in the refrigerator and there was almost nothing eat.  My insides began to cave. Shaking and silently praying, I heard my oldest daughter say: “Its okay mom, it’s been worse”.

I blessed her for her faith.  There comes a level of fear that is completely numbing and perhaps this is the gift that allows one to continue moving forward into the unknown when trust is still a fledging.  Arising at 5:00 a. m. the next morning, I once again headed to the university, fear pulsing the beat of my heart.

Later that day, researching in the library, the librarian noticed I was strained.  I mentioned my situation and that this time I simply didn’t know how I could continue and I had no answers in my awareness, anymore. She smiled and me took down the hall, indicating the Awards Office.  Go in there now, she lovingly told me and gently nudged me forward.

On automatic pilot, I entered and began to speak, tears falling as my words dripped out.  I will never forget the woman who questioned and listened that day. She gently told me to take the form, to fill it in immediately and return it right away.

Then, because I had ‘believed’ my way beyond my fear and had shared with another ~  since a Miracle is simply a Change in Perception, the key to opening to a miracle began to unfold.

Having reached beyond my old belief system of “ You Have to Do it all Yourself” , three days later I had enough money for food as she handed me the cheque and my eyes once again filled with tears.  She soothed my aching soul by acknowledging: “You really need this, don’t you.”

To my surprise, she also passed me another application form, repeating the instructions to complete it immediately.  This went on for three months, allowing me to feed my children, to complete my year and graduate with my Bachelor of Education.

I never knew the woman’s name, but to me she was my Angel. This possibly humiliating situation brought healing and hope to me and my family, through her heart felt compassion.  Allowing me to keep my dignity, she saw with eyes of love.  I truly know that she was one of ways in which Divine Love carried me through that year.

Graduating with honours was merely a bonus.  How the rest of the technicalities worked out, I really don’t remember. I do know for sure, however that there truly are angels on earth.

  I know she was one of the many Human Angels who believed in me and carried me through that year.

Dear God/dess, thank you for every day miracles. May we remember that when we forget and tremble in fear, You have infinite resources beyond all measures.  Thank you for the still small voice within that guides and supports us, through what may seem the most dire of circumstances.  For this most precious gift we offer our heartfelt and humble thanks.

Might you be ready to shift one perception; to invite a miracle into your life?

And if so, which one do you choose to shift ?

Many blessings      Linda

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ICEBERG INSIGHT

 

Un…Ravelling the Secrets To Un…Cover the Gold

 

Only now am I aware of the reason I have been challenged to write this post. What I needed to say was no secret, pardon the word play; however, I simply baulked each time I faced the page.

Aware of the esoteric truths presented in the book “The Secret”, I understand that spiritual law states what we think about, we bring about, by the Law of Vibration and Attraction. There are in my experience however, many deeper aspects that need to be addressed in shifting consciousness.

I laughed out loud a few years ago, hearing Debbie Ford state that many people hope to just affirm positively and then life will be wonderful. Her words were:

 “You can’t put ice cream on top of poop and expect a great sundae!” 

How profound.

Virginia Satir’s teachings were the first I found on understanding how  ‘we become who we become’ along the way and her wisdom became a light in the darkness for me when I had a young family.

She compared the top of the iceberg, approximately 10% above the water line to the amount of consciousness people may have about themselves and their world. The other 90% of the iceberg, below water is compared to the subconscious or the subtly programmed unconscious messages that societally  shape our daily lives.

As I followed my inner wisdom in choosing to write this blog I needed to sketch and paint an iceberg; something I have never done before.  I then photographed it and set it up on my blog draft. Every time I walked by my computer for 2 days, it taunted me.

Then last night I dreamed that I was chipping ice ( a theme word playing out here, you may notice ) on the side of an almost clean road. For me the symbolic message of ‘ice’ in my dreams is ‘the need to unthaw emotion’.

This morning I awoke in restlessness, an uneasy gnawing in my being. While dream journalling, the symbolism and ideas coming to me began  to release blocked feelings, bashing  away at old thinking and beliefs, freeing me to open to a broader perspective of my world.   Phewww…  What a ride!

From deep within my subconscious, my submerged iceberg part,  my Soul had been calling me to unthaw the ice cream and let go of more old ‘poop’, so that I could float more buoyantly in the sea of life.  An attractive concept for an astrological water sign, like me!

 

I have always said:

When I truly follow, spirit has a great sense of humour~~~~~

 

What might you choose to bring to your awareness?

How might this shift your view of the world?

After all, this is how we begin to seek out our alchemical Gold~!