While sitting

alone

in a world of people

I

realized

peace
love
joy

are within

one’s

self

or they are not there

at

all

These words flowed onto the page as a teen ~ still guiding me  today

I invite you to reflect, to consider what treasures within may call to you

Linda

As a Guidance Counsellor who loved being with the students not so much the administrative tasks, as you may deduce from the sign above I posted on my office door, my awesome team mate ‘supervisor’ Jean, smiled at me trustingly and obligingly said: ‘Great, you work with the students and develop the Grade 9 program for the school.’

That left me speechless since both she and I knew I was great at process work in the moment; not great at writing down the ‘how’ of anything I did. Jean however was and is a very loving and wise woman: she asked another counsellor, my friend to sit at the back of the room and write down what she observed as I interacted with the students. Then together as a staff we co-created a wonderful program for the grade 9’s in that school.

This particular day, we were discussing self esteem, ‘full steam ahead’ ability. 

Listening to my intuition, I said to the class: “Let’s try something new.  I need 3 volunteers and I am going to say something positive, negative or neutral to you. The only thing is that you will not know which one it will be. I need you to respond to me in role play.”

A young girl put up her hand. In a loud condescending tone I scolded: “You haven’t cleaned up your room or done your home work! No you are not going out!”Immediately the student began to berate me, call me names and fall predictably into the angry teenager role.   I then stopped, thanked her and asked the class if they had ever seen this happen. All heads nodded in unison.

I asked for the next volunteer.  Another young girl put up her hand and I spoke: “Its great weather we have today.”  She agreed.

As I asked for the third volunteer, of course the whole class already knew what scenario was left.  A young boy bravely stood up.  I looked at him and in a warm caring voice said, “Do you ever have a nice smile”. 

Silence.  Profound nothingness. You could have heard a pin drop. Thirty two students ~ not a sound.

I looked around the room and said to the class, “What’s happening?”

After what seemed like a long time, someone said: “He doesn’t know what to say.  We don’t hear nice things like that.”

Three more times, 3 more classes, grade 9 through grade eleven; same results consistently. It was then, with a lump in my throat, that my soul knew the depth of this teaching and the dire need to offer this tool to others. I am saddened once again, just remembering the heart felt depth of this moment and the deep trust those students had in me to be able to ‘stay with me in this process….

From my journalling I wrote back then:
this is the work of my soul and I know it so is so simple but so vital to wellness…help me god to bring this to the world in your way…show me, guide me…..thank you for bringing into my life the support for me in this work, my dear friends, my soul friend co-workers and family members who support me in this manner……

As always, I am hearing Truth is so simple. Linda, go back to the simple.

In that moment I saw laid bare, the pain of the unacknowledged soul.  The tender hearts of our pain filled children: the same pain that had drowned my soul as a very young child and most likely the souls of my own children at times, before I became aware.  It is one of those moments when the precious gift of being a ‘teacher’ touched me to the core.

On the surface, how simple a compliment seems. Just an ordinary phrase.  No big deal.

Not so~ A compliment is an open hearted act of kindness. Seemingly small, a compliment has the love force of touching another and reverberating to the essence of who we are. Validating, healing, energizing…
 
So what was my lesson, the nugget of gold from this profound awareness?   I began to see clearly how easily many are conditioned to respond quickly in defensive anger, negativity, meanness and also how many are unable to receive the positive or the ‘good’. 

 
How long will we choose to resist the simple truth of caring and kindness?

 How can we begin to change this together?

 What simple compliment, act of kindness may you offer or accept today, toward becoming the change in this world we all share?

Know Thyself, Saith The Oracle 

Of Delphi

Today June 21, 2009, is the Summer Solstice, the longest day of the year; the largest amount of light, solar rays, available to us in the Northern hemisphere. Throughout the ages, people have celebrated this day in reverence, joy, anticipation, according to varied cultural traditions. 

The symbolic essence of the Solstice invites one to look toward the play of inner light and darkness.  It is said that at this time metaphysically, the veil between the worlds is thinner, more easily allowing the richness of self awareness and self discovery. 

Facilitating a workshop yesterday on varied aspects of ‘Soul Talk’ a participant, who knows me well, said: “You are all about self awareness, aren’t you.”

I heard this comment in a new way and easily responded, and now enlarge on my truth, by expressing it thusly: “Yes, since it is my journey, my responsibility, my soul call to deeply know and love me, I am all about self awareness. It is vital to me to honour and get to know all parts of me, since I have been created divinely, as we all have been. This is my soul growth path, my spirit leading me back to my authentic, Higher Self. The more I know, the more I know I have yet to know. And then the more I have to let go… (however I digress~!) 

I do know that I can only change myself and through this process my heart opens to more clearly connect to my Self,  Source and Others and my life shifts, amazingly.

Solstice is a powerful time for seeding new awareness’s, intentions, paradigms: preparing for new growth and a new harvest, both within oneself, and in ones everyday life. 

I offer prose today, from a mentor I have never met in person, who had a profound affect on my life years ago. Her name was Virginia Satir, a family therapist a forerunner in family therapy. I immediately resonated with her book PeopleMaking, and its wisdom helped me through a challenging dissolution and loss in my life.

MY DECLARATION OF SELF-ESTEEM
            
                                                         I AM ME

In all the world there is no one else exactly like me
There are persons who have some parts like me, but no one adds up
Exactly like me. Therefore, everything that comes out of me
Is authentically mine, because I alone choose it
I own everything about me:  my body, including everything it does
My eyes, including the images of all they behold
I own my feelings: anger, joy, frustration, love, disappointment, excitement
My mouth and all the words that come out of it
Polite, sweet or rough, correct or incorrect and my voice, loud or soft
I own all my actions, whether they be to others or to myself
I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears
I own all my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes
Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me
By so doing, I can love me and be friendly with me in all my parts
I can then make it possible for all of me to work in my best interests
I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me
And other aspects that I do not know
But as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously
And hopefully look for the solutions to the puzzles
And for ways to find out more about me
However I look and sound, whatever I say and do
And whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is me
This is authentic and represents where I am at that moment in time
When I review later how I looked and sounded, what I said and did
How I thought and felt, some parts may turn out to be unfitting
I can discard that which is unfitting,
Keep that which proves fitting and invent something new for that which I discarded
I can see, hear, feel, think, say and do
I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive
To make sense out of the world of people and things outside of me
I own me and therefore, I can engineer me

I AM ME AND I AM OKAY

VIRGINIA SATIR c 1975

What a wonderful day to celebrate the beauty of who you are…

 And all that you are becoming~

Solstice Blessings to you~

One of my favorite Soul Print expressions of kindness, I found in a beautifully simple but profound book, titled Living in Joy.

If you can exist in a feeling of love~
If you can find it in everything you do,
Transmit it through your touch,
through your words,
eyes and feelings~
You can cancel out with one act of love
thousands of acts
of a lower nature.

Sanaya Roman

I WONDER… how our world would shift, if we resonated this wisdom, more often?

Would It Be That Simple?

Kindness seems a simple word: ordinary, short, an every day type of word, easy to toss into any conversation. It’s unlike seemingly loaded words, such as ‘success’ ‘forgiveness’ ‘abundance’ ‘emotion’ ‘commitment’.

I investigated the WEBSTER’S NEW WORLD dictionary:
Kind (kind) n (OE cynd) 1. natural group or division 2. essential character 3. sort; variety; class. —adj. sympathetic, gentle, benevolent

Fascinating I pondered, that the ‘being kind’ concept, the emotion of ‘kind’ was listed last; that it seems to be most often observable in others; that it appears to be more powerful, through action. Hummmmm, (this is me musing on paper).

Canada, as true Canadians know, is a land where one may need both a bathing suit and a parka in the same day. We thrive, it seems on variety! And so, several days ago in April. I awakened to a beautiful artistic display of deep mid-winter landscape once again~! Some blessings come too often~!

I was delighted to hear Vince’s snowplough outside, as he’s been most obliging this winter, waiting as I search for my car hiding under mounds of sparkling white. He then quickly cleans my spot and I drive back in, saving me much time and labour. This day, rather than returning to work, I drove to the local coffee shop, purchased a coffee for me and a Gift Card for Vince. As I offered it to him with thanks you, he smiled and said:” You don’t have to do that!” “I know”, I smiled. “But, I wanted to!”

Arriving at my lakeside coffee spot, I intended to watch the beauty of the ice breaking into shattering crystal shards. My soul breathes differently when the lake is free once more to visibly flow and sparkle, to rest and reflect, much like me. Water watching in all forms is one of my favourite meditations.

In only a moment I realized this viewpoint was not a good choice at the bottom of a medium hill. I was now sliding on the icy surface beneath the snow, stranded. On the hilltop, I noticed someone in a car and thought they may have remembered to bring a cell phone, unlike me. Walking up the hill, I watched them turn and drive away. Well I thought they must have been afraid I would ask them to push me out. ‘Wow’, my Observer self said: ‘I’m certainly moving to less reactivity in my situations and this is a good thing’!

Okay, ‘all that is’, I vocalized. (my prayers come in all shapes, sounds and forms.) ‘I know it. I have made a not so great choice and I can begin the long cold walk home, but is there another possibility?’

No kidding! In 5 more steps a van pulled up! Really! Approaching, I sensed I was safe, waved to the man, rolling down his window and said: “Hi’, you don’t know me, I’m Linda and I can’t get my car up the hill, would you have a cell phone I could use?”

“Linda”, he said “hop in the van”.

You would have to know me, to realize that it is very unlike me ordinarily to concur, but this time I chose to listen deeply to the intuitive message of my gut. ‘Go ahead’, I sensed, ‘you are very safe here.’ So into his van, I stepped.

In short, I called CAA for roadside assistance, thanked the man and reached for the door handle. I heard him say: “What if you give me the keys and I will give it a try. What have you got to lose, Linda ?” 

I laughed into his gentle eyes and handed over the keys. Shortly thereafter, my Freedomobile nudged to hilltop; me high five-ing and him, one of those seasoned people who have innate driving skills within, grinning widely.

Calling CAA back, the representative laughed when I told her I had gone to get a gift card to thank someone, gotten stranded having my coffee, had met a complete stranger who ‘rescued’ me and so I no longer needed assistance. My new stranger, friend was laughing listening to how I had ended up in my predicament, I was laughing in the telling of my story, my new CAA friend was laughing, saying, “There really are great people in the world, aren’t there!”

There are, for certain.

Finally asking his name I shook hands with Nick, who was only on that very hill because he had gotten lost on his way to help someone else! I told him I was a writer and asked his permission to tell our story. His nod and smile were my affirmation. “Nick”, I said, “I would like to pay you”.

He reached out and patted my shoulder, saying “Linda, HAPPY EASTER.”

Some people are only in our lives for a short time. We never truly know when or how come they appear. Often they are there when we most need them. Sometimes they are the bringers of quiet miracles: most always in a form of kindness. Kindness, I have observed, goes round and round in circles, blessing both the giver and the receiver  in mystical, magical moments.

And me? This incident brought to me the gift of deeper awareness. The gift of being present for self kindness: in this case, by remembering my cell phone.  By being lovingly responsible for myself.

Kindness after all, must begin from within. We cannot give to others, that which we have not first given to our self, kindly.

It’s really is that simple.

Smiles and blessings
Linda