Creative SoulPrints~

Believing Ones Way Beyond The Fear

I Pulled my Courage up from the Depths of Somewhere… 

There are times in life, when suddenly the path ahead is obscured beyond any human understanding. The challenge looming menacingly ahead, may feel like a roaring avalanche about to engulf, when one hadn’t even been aware that they had stepped onto the mountain. Choosing to trust this mysterious force is not a journey for the faint of heart.  It is however, the pathway to miracles and breathing space.

 The En Visioning Call of My Soul…

Having completed my Bachelor of Arts degree in psychology, I then was offered a place in the Faculty of Education to complete my teaching degree. Being in fear through most of my teens, feeling little personal power and lack of support, even censure when I had attempted to embrace life in new ways, I had not ventured into the world to follow my heart’s desire after high school. I truly began to embrace the inner challenge of the ongoing ‘lesson’ of reclaiming my authenticity throughout my marriage. At the earth age of ‘30′ mother of 4 children, sitting in the golden ( really!) chair I will always remember, I clearly heard my Higher Self say to me:

“Linda, you CAN become a teacher!”

Stunned, I began to breathe in the possiblity of reclaiming the dream I had secretly carried, since I was a tiny child. The rest of this is a story for another day……

Now Life was calling me again and and just as imperatively.  This time the reverberations awakened my saddened soul and I knew that the only choice for me was to accept the honour of being offered a place at the Faculty, although having no idea ‘how’ any of this could be possible. I had just become the single parent of  four children with an already large student loan, part time work as a  grocery clerk left me with no idea “How” I was to pay the bills each month. Then I suddenly learned that the children and I were now living in a home that going up for sale, imminently   In Yet……

Beckoned from within, in both great fear and mumbling prayer, I blindly began to trust the vision I had seen years earlier. Although I truly felt I was in a check mate position I pulled my courage up from the depth of somewhere I knew not, since this route seemed the only way I would be able to secure a teaching position to be able to care for my family.

  I had forgotten that my soul knew the golden path before me.

Arising in the dark each morning, four hours before class was to begin in the city, I would travel, study and return home in the evening. When people asked me how I did this, my reply was always: “Please don’t ask me right now.” It seemed that if I spoke, my suppressed pain and exhaustion would engulf me; I needed every bit of my energy focused on the task ahead. I carried the poem Footprints folded in my wallet and simply kept keeping on.

The inevitable day came when I looked in the refrigerator and there was almost nothing eat.  My insides began to cave. Shaking and silently praying, I heard my oldest daughter say: “Its okay mom, it’s been worse”.

I blessed her for her faith.  There comes a level of fear that is completely numbing and perhaps this is the gift that allows one to continue moving forward into the unknown when trust is still a fledging.  Arising at 5:00 a. m. the next morning, I once again headed to the university, fear pulsing the beat of my heart.

Later that day, researching in the library, the librarian noticed I was strained.  I mentioned my situation and that this time I simply didn’t know how I could continue and I had no answers in my awareness, anymore. She smiled and me took down the hall, indicating the Awards Office.  Go in there now, she lovingly told me and gently nudged me forward.

On automatic pilot, I entered and began to speak, tears falling as my words dripped out.  I will never forget the woman who questioned and listened that day. She gently told me to take the form, to fill it in immediately and return it right away.

Then, because I had ‘believed’ my way beyond my fear and had shared with another ~  since a Miracle is simply a Change in Perception, the key to opening to a miracle began to unfold.

Having reached beyond my old belief system of “ You Have to Do it all Yourself” , three days later I had enough money for food as she handed me the cheque and my eyes once again filled with tears.  She soothed my aching soul by acknowledging: “You really need this, don’t you.”

To my surprise, she also passed me another application form, repeating the instructions to complete it immediately.  This went on for three months, allowing me to feed my children, to complete my year and graduate with my Bachelor of Education.

I never knew the woman’s name, but to me she was my Angel. This possibly humiliating situation brought healing and hope to me and my family, through her heart felt compassion.  Allowing me to keep my dignity, she saw with eyes of love.  I truly know that she was one of ways in which Divine Love carried me through that year.

Graduating with honours was merely a bonus.  How the rest of the technicalities worked out, I really don’t remember. I do know for sure, however that there truly are angels on earth.

  I know she was one of the many Human Angels who believed in me and carried me through that year.

Dear God/dess, thank you for every day miracles. May we remember that when we forget and tremble in fear, You have infinite resources beyond all measures.  Thank you for the still small voice within that guides and supports us, through what may seem the most dire of circumstances.  For this most precious gift we offer our heartfelt and humble thanks.

Might you be ready to shift one perception; to invite a miracle into your life?

And if so, which one do you choose to shift ?

Many blessings      Linda

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